This track is the theme song for a project I did in 2020 called “thenational.api”.
I stumbled on thenational.api after hearing Benedict, the writer, talk about it on a Zoom seminar. The concept of short stories revolving around queer Malaysian immigrants living in Singapore across different periods of history really drew me in. I told Ben I'd be interested in providing a soundtrack for it, and he quickly took me up on that.
When asked what causes are important to me, the one that I realise I care about but don't talk about enough is LGBTQIA+ rights. This, among other issues, is a huge reason why I am disillusioned with the Church (or any religious authority to be honest). The Good News was indoctrinated in us by colonisers in the past. We hold a big song and dance to declare our independence from the rule of these same colonisers every year and yet here in South East Asia, we still hold their outdated values and laws dear.
Among the many disappointments the past few years have brought is the realisation that people have not fully opened their minds and hearts yet. (I am also guilty of this.) But worse still, is the realisation that even in my generation, even among my fellow artists, there are people who choose not to. If I'm the sole person at the table speaking for the necessity and importance of Pride, so be it, I will speak up as many times as I have to. But in the year 2023, I shouldn't be.
The music and sound design I created for thenational.api will always be one of the works I am proudest of. Just as I am proud to support the LGBTQIA+ community here in South East Asia where many discriminatory laws are still in place and are enforced. You are valid, your love is valid.
You can read and listen to thenational.api stories here, as well as listen to the soundtrack on SoundCloud.
In what will be a regular “column” on these letters are 3 artistes I listened to recently and loved:
“Lonely Lesbian” by Shh…Diam!
(bonus tracks: I Woke Up Gay & Julie Don’t Listen To Them)
“The last song for tonight is going to be about Sinar Harian (a Malay-language newspaper). They recently came out with these guidelines like ‘how you recognise a lesbian’, and according to that, the lesbian is ‘always alone, hates men, likes to hold hands’. […] Yeah, very emo. […] This song is about that lesbian that we’ve never met.”
- lead singer Faris Saad on the inspiration behind the song
I imagine if Bob Dylan were gay, he probably would have written a song like this. I dare you to not wail “I’m so loOnelaaay, so FUCKING loOoNelaaaay, I’m a lonely lonely lonely lonely lESBIAAAAN” by the end of the performance. Shh…Diam! (“diam” means “shut up” in Malay) add an element of satire and theatricality to their blues-infused punk rock repertoire that is equal parts hilarious and poignant.
I found Shh…Diam! while looking up openly queer musicians in Malaysia. I can’t stress enough how much courage you need to have to be out in this country, where even something as innocuous as a kiss between a same-sex couple is censored in cinemas (an extreme case of this is the Malaysian Film Censorship Board considering not releasing the 2017 version of Beauty and the Beast just for implying one of the characters was gay).
“Do You Wanna” by Jean Seizure
(bonus tracks: Then Morning Breaks & i-)
Do you wanna go someplace where they tell us that we’re kinda perfect?
For the same old different fines we’ll just build our little castle by the sea with pebbles and debris.
Singapore has recently repealed Section 377A (a law introduced by the British that criminalised sex between consenting adult males), but housing laws that favour young heterosexual couples and a promise by the government to “uphold traditional family values” have made it clear that systemic discrimination still exists against anyone who doesn’t fall under the nuclear family umbrella (which also includes single-parent families).
All that said, it’s so refreshing to see Jean Seizure, a Singaporean artiste, singing about being in love in her soothing mellow voice and depicting happiness in queer love in her music video.
“Queendom” by AURORA
(bonus tracks: Cure For Me (Acoustic) & Forgotten Love)
I hunt the grounds for empathy
And hate the way it hides from me
With care and thirst I have become
You have a home in my queendom
I’ve watched Aurora live in concert twice. The first time in Milan I was struck by the warm vibe she had cultivated in her audience, I talked to and hugged so many strangers and I know the reason why we could do that is because we knew that everyone there would be accepting of who we are. You can’t be a fan of Aurora and be anything else. The second time in Singapore I marvelled at her performing “Queendom” while waving a pride flag and prancing across the theatre stage in MediaCorp, Singapore’s leading broadcast station that to this day, refuses to allow any positive LGBTQIA+ representation on their programmes. What a beautiful wonderful thing it is to go anywhere in the world and have your music be a safe space for so many.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope you’ll be here next month too! Here’s a YouTube playlist with all the videos I shared and a picture I took of Aurora at her Milan concert in September 2022.
LoL (Lots of Love),
rae