drop no.7 ~ october 2023
It was my little brother's birthday, and also my first single's anniversary.
I’m still trying to figure out how to release my debut EP - diary of a younger girl - my initial plans revolved around Bandcamp but I don’t like what’s currently happening over there so now it’s up in the air. Anyway, I’m currently paused in the mixing stage because the bass on one side of my IEMs stopped working. I am planning to buy myself a new pair for Christmas so the release won’t be delayed any longer than early 2024.
In the meantime, here’s a stripped-back version (instrumentation: vocal, viola, violin) of my first single “Homesick” which I recorded for the EP, have a listen below. Find links to stream/buy the single version here, or play it on YouTube via the video above.
“Homesick” was written for my friend Nuria’s podcast the homesick project, and was largely inspired by the conversations she had on it with her guests, as well as my own experiences living almost half a thousand miles away from the town I grew up in. I released it in October 2020 during the pandemic; I hadn’t been home since New Year’s Eve 2019 and it was unlikely that I would be home for Christmas (the next time I would returned would be a year later at the end of 2021).
This song was everything I felt in that moment and still feel constantly: my longing for home and my family, my insecurities about how adult life is going, but most of all, the love and gratitude I have for the people who have made me feel less alone, as well as my hope for the future.
With the possibility that I won’t be able to be home for Christmas again, I’m beginning to reconsider some of my life decisions, questioning whether I should have listened to the small part of me that was screaming at me to be anywhere but here.
I’ve been questioning myself recently to reflect on my sense of purpose and fulfilment. I’ve had these two questions constantly in the back of my mind: Am I a Gen-Z snowflake? When do you decide that you’ve had enough? Hopefully, I will have some answers in my next drop.
{ 3 drops of golden sound }
29th was my little brother’s birthday. In honour of the 2 dozen years of us annoying each other, here are 3 songs that mention little brothers written and performed by older sisters. Comment below if you know of any others!
“Oceanic Feeling” by Lorde
Little brother, I think you’re an angel. I see your silver chain levitate when you’re kick-flipping. Baby boy, you’re super cool. I know you’re scared, so was I but all will be revealed in time.
“The Best Day” by Taylor Swift
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he’s better than I am. I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run and I had the best days with you.
“Colors” by Halsey
Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope you’ll be here again at the end of next month. Here’s a picture of my brother and cat napping on the sofa in our family home. 🏡
LoL,
rae