no, i will not delete my instagram
OR "how I retrained my algorithm to work for ME instead of the other way round". The pros will never outweigh the cons, but is it possible to balance them?
Disclaimer: I started writing this before Meta announced some worrying changes happening across their platforms but I am also not writing from the POV of a creator on Instagram, just as someone who wants to use it to connect with people I already know, including myself.
Like countless other writers on Substack, I have either entertained thoughts of deleting all my social media accounts, or have actually done so. But there was a time in my teens when I was obsessed with social networking, creating an account on every site that existed. You name it, I probably had a profile on it at some point.
Fast forward to my mid, now late 20s, I’ve deleted active accounts on Snapchat, BeReal, Facebook (though I have since recreated an account so I could work as a social media manager…) and Twitter (my first true loss as I did have a community there).
The one account that I will never delete, is Instagram.
Why?
Because I’m proud of the version of me that’s memorialised on Instagram. I’ve archived every important moment of my life on it since high school. The bubbles of story highlights below my bio are curated specifically for me, for my own re-viewing pleasure. I have a highlight with screenshots of every nice comment sent to me, and tapping through it helps me regain confidence whenever it lapses.
I think it helps that Instagram’s story archive was only introduced in late 2017, the year I turned 20 and was no longer a “teen”. It was also the year I started actively trying to fix some problematic behaviour and become a better person. Meanwhile, Facebook kept reminding me what a whiny obnoxious teen I was 10 years ago “on this day”; Snapchat kept showing me “memories” of people I don’t talk to anymore.
Of course, being on Instagram also has its drawbacks: the constant comparison, FOMO1, Meta’s insistence on shoving Threads in my face, all the time and sleep I’ve wasted doomscrolling on Reels (TikTok’s FYP has never had the same chokehold on me fortunately), and up till very recently, my trashy explore page.
So how?2 How do we find a balance for these cons?
I tried by changing certain habits and also, developing a new ✨ mindset ✨:
Stop thinking about how Instagram is everyone else’s highlight reel and consider that it is also your own, a place where you can remind yourself just how much you’ve achieved and how far you’ve come.
By prioritising the pros: it’s an archive of memorable moments, an easy way to stay connected to friends around the world, and a good place to discover new local businesses to support.
Using the “Following” tab instead of the default, algorithmically defined feed. While you’re there, unfollow or mute accounts that stir up feelings of comparison/FOMO. This also applies to TikTok, Substack Notes and YouTube.
I’m tired of my friends telling me they never see my videos on YouTube because they don’t know the Subscriptions tab exists. 💀
Other ways I’m trialling to cope with Instagram’s more negative aspects:
Posts about my creative projects always flop, so I’ve given up and made my account private. Now, I only use it for keeping in touch with people I care about.
Using Screen Time, one-sec and Screen Zen to make opening Instagram and other time-wasting apps less enticing. So far, this has been working well because the gratification is not worth the delay.
“Is this important?” No, actually. Scheduling time in my day for doomscrolling and not opening the app outside that specific time. It might seem counter-intuitive (why scroll at all?) but it works for me because it almost feels like a reward for not going near the app the rest of the time.
I’m very guilty of spending too much time editing photos and videos to look pretty for my Stories while I’m travelling. On my latest solo trip, I decided to curb that habit by starting a Telegram channel instead. This way, I could continue updating my friends and family but not worry about cropping or editing anything to fit some weird dimensions on Instagram. This allowed for more off-the-cuff posting because I was posting raw photos and videos directly from my camera roll. Also, having only a dozen of my loved ones on it allowed me to be vulnerable about how I was feeling, especially during moments when I felt unsafe.
I retrained my algorithm so that my explore page was somewhere I could be genuinely inspired.
How to Retrain Your Algorithm:
Embrace the joy of missing out. I used to keep posts from various news/tabloid outlets around, deluding myself into believing that I was just trying to “stay informed”. In reality, I was just being a kay poh chee3.
Hide all the posts that don’t serve you. For me, this meant compilations of AITA Reddit threads, movie scenes taken out of context, and anything involving celebrities, including red-carpet interviews.
Seek inspiration. Find accounts with content you enjoy and like a few posts from each. I sought out artists and illustrators, as well as accounts that focused on productivity and slow travel to make up the foundation that I was rebuilding on.
Avoid junk food. Every time you open the explore page, be specific with which posts you click on and like, and make sure that what you’re engaging with is genuinely inspiring and/or informative. HIDE EVERYTHING ELSE!
Use the Explore page instead of Reels. Choose what you want to see and engage with, instead of letting the algorithm decide.
{ 3 drops of golden sound }
Following up on today’s theme, here are some songs about living our lives online. Listen to them and a few more on this YouTube playlist.
“Digital Witness” by St. Vincent
“Digital witnesses, what’s the point of even sleeping?
If I can’t show it, you can’t see me.
What’s the point of doing anything?
What’s the point of even sleeping?
So I stopped sleeping, yeah, I stopped sleeping.
Won’t somebody sell me back to me?”
“Likes” by Yuna & KYLE
TW: P. Diddy mention (3:08-3:13)
“Let me leave another comment out of spite,
Let’s hope I get more likes.”
“Past Conversations” by Yen Océane
I already said self-promo on Instagram doesn’t work for me so can ya blame me for attempting it here? 🥲
“So why oh why did I look you up the other night?
’cause now I am stuck wishing you were mine.”
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! Previously, I only posted at the end of every month, but I want to write more this year so expect topical articles like this one in between. Here’s a picture of some grass (and a wild mushroom).
LoL (Lots of Love),
rae
“FOMO”: Fear Of Missing Out.
“So how?”: Malaysian/Singaporean slang for “what’s next” or “so what now”. Probably derived from Mandarin (“怎么样”) or Malay (“macam mana”) but don’t quote me on that.
"Kay poh chee”: Malaysian/Singaporean slang for someone who is being a busybody, a nosy parker.
This is interesting. I've stopped sharing actively in instagram after the initial few years of nostalgic feel when it was launched, and I became a passive user only. Slowly seeing all my friends coming on board while getting sucked into some Influencer accounts. Strangely I've never used the explore page because I have enough to catch up already but the feed start to be proliferated by ads and things I did not follow in the first place. So I finally quit.
It is cool how you manage to retrain instagram and set up a usage way that works for you! I'm currently only here on substack for my love of words, and I hope it does not turn into another social media monster. :)